Write the Perfect Wedding Toast

Write a Perfect Wedding Toast (That Won't Haunt You on YouTube Forever)

Being asked to give a wedding toast is an honor - and terrifying. You want to be funny but not offensive, heartfelt but not sappy, memorable but not infamous. This prompt helps you craft a toast that hits all the right notes without mentioning exes, drunk stories, or that Vegas incident.

The Prompt:

I need to write a wedding toast. Here's my situation:

MY ROLE: [best man/maid of honor/parent/sibling/friend]
WHO I'M CLOSEST TO: [bride/groom/both/neither really]
HOW LONG I'VE KNOWN THEM: [years, how we met]
AUDIENCE: [small intimate/large formal/mixed ages/cultural considerations]
TONE THEY'D WANT: [funny/heartfelt/short and sweet/roast-style]
LENGTH: [2-3 minutes/5 minutes/quick blessing]
MY SPEAKING ABILITY: [confident/nervous/might cry/might freeze]

KEY STORIES/MEMORIES: [2-3 appropriate stories I could share]
THEIR RELATIONSHIP: [how they met, what I've observed]
WHAT I ADMIRE: [about them individually and as a couple]
INSIDE JOKES: [that others would understand]

Create a wedding toast that:

1. Opens strong (attention grabber that's appropriate)
2. Introduces myself and my connection
3. Shares 1-2 stories that:
   - Show character
   - Are wedding-appropriate
   - Others can relate to
   - Don't embarrass anyone
4. Transitions to the couple
5. Says something meaningful about their love
6. Ends with a clear toast moment

Include:
- Natural transition phrases
- Pause points for laughs/emotions
- Recovery lines if jokes don't land
- How to handle getting emotional
- Clear ending so people know when to drink

NEVER include:
- Exes or past relationships
- Drunk/drug stories
- "Ball and chain" jokes
- Inside jokes only 2 people get
- Anything sexual
- Backhanded compliments
- How you "never thought this day would come"

Give me:
- A full toast script
- A shorter backup version
- Opening lines if I blank
- How to practice
- What to do with my hands
- Whether to use notes/cards
- How to handle nervousness

For common situations:
- If I don't like their partner
- If I barely know one of them
- If their families don't get along
- If it's a second marriage
- If I might cry
- If I'm following a great toast
- If I've been drinking

Why This Prompt Works:

Most wedding toasts fail because people try to be comedians or therapists. This prompt creates a balanced toast that celebrates the couple without roasting them, tells stories without oversharing, and shows emotion without sobbing into the microphone.

It also gives you backup plans for common wedding toast disasters - because Murphy's Law loves weddings.

Example Input:

ROLE: Best man

CLOSEST TO: Groom - college roommates

HOW LONG: 12 years, met freshman year

AUDIENCE: 150 people, mixed ages, bride's family is conservative

TONE: Funny but heartfelt

LENGTH: 3-4 minutes max

SPEAKING: Okay speaker but nervous about this

STORIES: How he studied for her number, their terrible first date that became legendary, how he knew she was the one

Wedding Toast Golden Rules:

The grandmother test: If grandma would clutch pearls, cut it
One drink max before: Dutch courage becomes slurred words
Practice out loud: 5 times minimum, time yourself
Stand and deliver: Don't sit, project your voice
Look at the couple: Not the crowd when nervous
End clearly: "Please raise your glasses to..."
3-minute rule: Shorter is always better than longer
Phone off: Nothing worse than your ringtone mid-toast

Perfect Toast Structure:

0:00-0:15 - Attention getter and introduction
0:15-1:00 - Story about your person (showing character)
1:00-1:30 - Transition to the couple
1:30-2:00 - What you've observed about their love
2:00-2:30 - Wishes for their future
2:30-2:45 - Clear toast ("Please join me in...")

Never Say These:

"Marriage is like a prison/ball and chain"
"I remember when [bride/groom] was single..."
"I never thought they'd settle down"
"Good luck, you'll need it!"
"If this doesn't work out..."
Any story starting with "We were SO drunk"
Inside jokes requiring explanation
"I didn't prepare anything" (yes you did)
Anything about bachelor/bachelorette party
Commentary on their looks/weight/age

Emergency Saves:

Joke bombs: "Well, they can't all be winners. Moving on..."
Getting emotional: "Sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't cry"
Lost your place: "The point is, these two are perfect together"
Mind blank: Have first line written on palm
Too nervous: "Bear with me, public speaking isn't my forte"
Technical issues: Project voice, forget the mic

Make Them Laugh, Make Them Cry (Good Tears)

A great wedding toast is remembered for years. A bad one lives forever on social media. Use this prompt to craft something worthy of the honor you've been given. And remember: when in doubt, shorter and sweeter beats longer and funnier.