Dating App Messages That Get Responses

Dating App Messages That Actually Get Responses

"Hey" gets ignored. "You're beautiful" is creepy. Pickup lines are cringe. So what DO you say? This prompt helps you write opening messages that stand out, start real conversations, and actually lead to dates. Works for Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or any dating app.

The Prompt:

I need help writing dating app messages that get responses. Here's the context:

THE APP: [Tinder/Bumble/Hinge/Coffee Meets Bagel/Other]
THEIR PROFILE INFO:
- Photos show: [what you noticed - activities, places, style]
- Bio says: [key points from their bio]
- Prompts mention: [for Hinge - their prompt answers]
- Interests listed: [music, hobbies, etc.]
- Potential red/green flags: [if any]

MY STYLE: [funny/serious/intellectual/playful/straightforward]
MY GOAL: [casual dating/relationship/just seeing what happens]

Create 5 different opening messages that:

1. Reference something SPECIFIC from their profile (not generic)
2. Ask an engaging question they'll want to answer
3. Show personality without trying too hard
4. Are 2-3 sentences max (short but substantial)
5. Don't comment on physical appearance
6. Avoid interview questions ("what do you do?")
7. Skip pickup lines and "clever" wordplay

For each message, include:
- The opener
- Why it works
- What kind of response to expect
- How to follow up if they respond

Also give me:
- Universal openers for profiles with minimal info
- How to restart dead conversations
- When to suggest meeting up (and how)
- Red flags in their responses
- Common mistakes to avoid

Make the messages:
- Genuinely interested, not desperate
- Confident but not arrogant
- Unique but not weird
- Flirty but not sexual
- Fun but not trying too hard

Include what to do if:
- They respond with one word
- They match but don't message (Bumble)
- The conversation dies after a few messages
- They're slow to respond

Why This Prompt Works:

Most dating app messages fail because they're either too generic ("hey beautiful") or trying too hard to be clever. This prompt creates messages that feel like starting a conversation with someone interesting at a party - natural, engaging, and specific to them.

The key is showing you actually looked at their profile (instant differentiation) while keeping things light and giving them something easy to respond to.

Example Input:

THE APP: Hinge

PHOTOS SHOW: Hiking, cooking, dog, travel (Japan), reading in coffee shop

BIO: "Therapist by day, terrible cook by night. My dog thinks I'm hilarious."

PROMPTS: "Simple pleasures" = Sunday farmers markets. "Never have I ever" = Been to Europe

MY STYLE: Playful and straightforward

MY GOAL: Relationship but starting casual

Message Strategy That Works:

Sunday evening = best time: Most active users, highest response rates
Question > Statement: Give them something to respond to
Specific > Generic: "Your Japan photos!" beats "Love travel"
Move fast: Suggest meeting within 10-15 messages
Two message rule: If they don't respond to two messages, unmatch and move on
Voice note test: If you wouldn't say it out loud, don't type it
Match their energy: Long responses to long, short to short

Conversation Timeline:

Messages 1-3: Opening and initial banter
Messages 4-7: Find common ground, share something about yourself
Messages 8-12: Suggest moving to text or meeting
After 15 messages: If no plans to meet, conversation usually dies

NEVER Send These:

"Hey" / "Hi" / "Hello beautiful"
Anything sexual or about their body
Copy-pasted pickup lines
"I don't usually do this but..."
Negative openers ("I hate this app")
Interview questions ("What do you do for work?")
Immediate date invites (message #1)
Long paragraphs about yourself
"Why are you single?"

For Different Profile Types:

Minimal profile: Comment on their best photo's location/activity
All group photos: Make a playful joke about which one they are
All selfies: Ask about their interests, suggest an activity
Travel heavy: Ask for recommendations, share similar experience
Dog/cat photos: Ask pet's name, don't make it whole conversation
Gym photos: Avoid fitness talk unless you're equally into it

Stand Out From 100 Other Matches

They probably have dozens of matches sending "hey" right now. Use this prompt to write messages they'll actually want to respond to. Remember: The goal isn't to be perfect - it's to start a conversation that leads somewhere.